Lock Lock the doors, light a candle and get covered under the blankets, For...............What you are about to read and see is
A VERY disturbing tale of the dark side.................


Welcome to the Jack I. Bustum Detective Agency. Hope you weren’t waiting too long out here, but, I dont have a secretary anymore. Money has been, err, rather scarce lately, and my secretary quit on me a few weeks ago as well as my cleaning lady, so please don't mind the mess. Let's get you up to date on this case, OK, Kid?!?

Your aunt strangely called me before she re-opened your mother's hotel and told me, that, in the event that something bad might happen to her, I would retain a pre-paid fee, and investigate any such matters. Well, needless to say, we now know just how smart your aunt was to hire me, and yes, I need the bucks badly, Kid, so lets get going on over to the Hotel and I'll brief you on the details of this case as we ride along. OOPS, hold on a second Kid, and let me get my revolver, if your Aunt's death is any sign, we might be in for a real bad time.
Alrighty, Kid, here's my car, I know not too impressive, but the repo-man, err, I mean repair man has my sports car in the shop, yeah, thats it. Anyhow, let me boot-up my laptop PC, nice one huh, Kid? I paid only $450 for it at a local hock-shop last year. Here are my notes on the history of the hotel, formerly known as the inn. It was built in 1979 by a company called Funnie Frite, and was located on an empty tract of land near the Myrtle Beach Pavillion Amusement Park, Myrtle Beach SC. I gather that your aunt's mother thought that the closeness of the Amusement Park would bring in several customers each week and evening.  
Anyhow, the building looked much different from what it looks like today. Your aunt's mom was a real eccentric lady, Kid, a real fruitcake she was! She furnished the inn using materials from yet another company called Feartek as well as some "leftovers" from another local Haunt, err, I mean Hotel.

She also had built within the building an elaborate transportation system for moving the high-class guests that were meant to stay in the new establish-ment. The people moving system had low-voltage, fiberglass vehicles called Hush-Puppies that ran all over the three floors of the building on one single track.

Yeah, Kid, your aunt's mother was so wacko that she even had the cars and track go outside the building on the third floor briefly for a few seconds for a grand view of both the amusement park and nearby Atlantic Ocean. She even had a large Fiberglass Skull Head,complete with boney hands attached to the facade of the Inn. But, "cheese-and-crackers" Kid, the deaths and problems started almost at once! And, once the deaths and disappearances started happening, the local press and townsfolk started to rally against both the Inn and your aunt's mother, and a local legend was born, the kind that is only talked about around camp-outs and Halloween. Hmmm....... it IS THAT time of year, isn’t it?!?

Finally, after your aunt's mother rested in a better place (after her own gruesome death) the inn was closed for a long 13 years. Your aunt was a much better business person than her mom, savvy enough to hire the best PI in the business, right Kid? Kid?? Yeesh--- Dont talk too soon! Anyhow, after she took control of the Inn, she enlisted a local company called "Elm Street Hauntrepreneurs", led by the very talented designer Leonard Pickel, to help refurbish the building.
At that time, in 1992, the outside run of the people moving transportation system was enclosed, and the name was changed from Haunted inn to Haunted Hotel, as a play on the local legend. Your aunt had planned to host "Murder Parties", "Halloween Spook Nights" and even have a Horror Museum set up as a way to entice area vacationers to come back to the hotel. The outside of the building was also changed from a Swiss chalet style of look to  
the now current version of an Victorian Mansion.The old puzzling rotating barrel was removed from the transportation system track as the local fire marshall felt that it was too low hanging to the patrons, and a few of the weaker "rooms" were refurbished. The second phase was done the following year (1993). Mr. Pickel had gutted the building except for the walls, floor, track and completely re-did the feel and look. Seat belts were added to the transportation cars in the building, as a way to contain guests while riding around the vast floors, but were removed later on by the owners.



Your aunt was a bit on da’ funny side though, Kid, as she had the skull head and hands removed, but had them replaced with a large mechanical witch that stood guard over the main entrance, welcoming potential guests. Oh well, what can ya’ say. Some things never change. Well, the murders still continued, and


your aunt tried one last attempt at remolding the Hotel, using a comp-
any called Sally Corporation. Some of the older displays and furnishings were retained, while much was indeed replaced though. The transportation system for the guests was retained though, out of respect for the past. The mechanical witch was replaced with a new mechanical greeter, over the main entrance. Well, here we are Kid, looks like the Amusement Park is closed for the season, but, of course, it's now October and close to Halloween and after season, right? Man, it's sure a cold evening though, very cold for this area, and dark too! Follow me Kid, and let ‘ol Jack lead the way, I'M the expert at this, OK Kid? So let me handle anything that comes our way. Your aunt mailed me the key along with a postdated check for the front door, what the @*#!, the front door is open?



Oh well, ba-da-bing, in we go! Grab my flashlights Kid, one for you and one for ‘ol Jack.
Wow, look at all these cobwebs, and dust too! This place is a mess and cold, really cold! I doubt the power is on either, so our flashlights will come in handy, hope the batteries are OK. God only knows when was the last time I checked them.
Here are a few of the people moving cars Kid, covered under months of dust and neglect. They are over 30 years old, but still sparkle, once you remove the grime from ‘em! Someone once told me that they were used and designed by another famous designer called Bill Tracy, or something like that. Looks like we are in the entrance and front desk area.

Wait a minute, I swear I saw something standing behind the old oak front desk for a split second! And now, no one is there! Man, Jack's gotta’ get off that cheap wine, huh Kid?!?

There is the old elevator in the far left corner, and, wait, its moving down toward our floor! The doors are opening. and...?!? there are suitcases flying through the air all by themselves?!? Now the doors are closing and its going back up!

Ummm, sorry Kid, I think I'll walk, way too creepy for me! I gotta’ take back what I said, I need that cheap wine in the worst way!

Allrighty, lets try this hallway going up, before I wet myself.



This looks to be a display area for the family art work. Wow! Look at some of these, Kid! Your prior family sure had some ugly mugs on ‘em! This old gent looks allot like Dracula, and, see this one?, she looks like she was the one face that coined the phrase "She is S-O-O UGLY that even SHE can't stand to see herself in a mirror!". Sheesh, Kid, what a bunch of freaks!

  OK, here we are at what looks to be either a living room or den. There seems to be a nice old fireplace centered, complete with a nice roaring fire! (Can this be?). There are also some heads located along the sides, but. whats that?!? There is a strange looking clock above us, and Hey!, it just turned to Midnight! What?!? There seems to be a head of some sorts flying out of it! Strange clock indeed. Kid, was that some kind of servant ghouly type guy up there in the shadows? Looked a bit like a badly made Frankenstein fresh out of a "B-Type of 60’s Horror Flick", but that guy was anything but fake!



Oh boy, don't look now Kid, but there is also a skeleton sitting here in a chair as well. Poor guy, wonder who he was.

Let's move on, it seems to be getting colder as we go. Looks like another passage upwards, might lead to the attic floor. Can't wait to see what happens here, right? Watch out Kid!!! That bookcase almost fell on top of you! Faster, Kid, faster! The walls are caving in on us!

Whew, just made it, but, damn, it must be like negative 25 degrees up here! Next thing ya’ know, Santa himself will be hitting us with snowballs!

  Yeesh! Guess the old building has some very bad drafts. I must be getting old as I swear that the rocking chair is moving by itself, and, there seemed to be someone sitting in it as well! Of course, upon closer inspection by yours truly, (Detective Numero Uno), there's no one there! Man, what a creepy looking attic as well! Uh oh, my flashlight must be starting to die out on me, blasted cheap batteries! Let me have yours, Kid, to lead the way forward. We don't have much time before this flashlight dies as well, let's push on, Kid.

This looks to be a hallway of the bedroom and guest suites. Yikes! There are two skeletons sitting up in bed, and they are shaking even more than I am! Let's get the hell out of here, Kid, and pronto!
  Oh, man, now there's a ghoul holding a human head on a plate and I swear by my best cigar that he is saying "Order A-Head!"!. He must be the token Ghoul Comic, but sorry, Im not sticking around for his encore! Not funny now, not funny ever! Let's move towards this hallway to the right.




Kid? Kid?! Kid?!? KID???? Wonderful. Now he is gone as well! Vanished he did, and the poor little Kid won't find his way out of here without ‘ol Jack. Yeesh, the little guy had almost started to grow on me; he deserved better than this, but, even more importantly, I probably won't get any extra bonus money from his aunt's estate!
OK, where am I now? Looks like a balcony with nicely mounted animal , hey..... those look more like human heads! I had better move it and fast before I become one myself! OOPs! There is also a nice, full-sized Mirror, but I think I must be getting’ real tired as I think I saw piercing Cat Eyes within it! Talking about having "Nine Lives", I'm sure I have now used all mine up.  
Looks like my dear Frankenstein makes a part two B-Movie appearance and he is none too pleased with my monologue! Time to run Jack, see Jack run! Sorry Frankie, I'm not liking ya’ a few minutes ago, and I'm not Liking ya’ now, or any time for that matter! "Boom, Boom, Boom", something (For lack of A better word) IS pounding on that door. (And that something can stay behind it for all I care!)
  Darn, my flashlight is almost out completely, I have to step up the pace a bit more. Ahh, another hallway, and this time leading in a downward direction. Here are some more rooms including a sight I relish, the bathroom. Hey!, when ya’ gotta’ go, ya’ gotta’ go! Even here! Wait!........ theres a creepy looking head and monster in there! Umm, no Thanks, I can hold it! That looks to be a baby nursery on the right. Funny, the cradle's
rocking all by itself! There are steel bars covering both the doors and windows, yet a shrill cold draft is blowing
open the drapes. Was a Little Monster once contained here?
Further along on the right-hand side, and downward is the kitchen area. I wonder what the main course was for the last meal?!? Ugh!, Looks like another human head was The main course. Excuse me for a minute (I have to heave!). OK, I feel much better, although a little lightheaded.

Looks Like a Haunted Chef has been cooking for over 20 plus years. Yikes! he has a chainsaw!!! No thanks pal’, Ive already eaten! And now decaying heads are popping out of the stove! Stick a fork into ‘em, the're done! Now a rat runs across an exposed beam overhead. He is the least of my current problems, but, .....if push comes to rat, my trusty revolver will do the job, Umm, that is if I actually had one! Darn, I must have dropped it when the Kid vanished!
I must be getting crazy now as its starting to feel real Hot! Like Satan himself is standing next to me! Man, am I sweating, and I hope that this isn’t a dream of things to come, right, Kid?!? But NO, of course he isn’t here. Hope he is OK somehow, but I suspect the worst, darn fool kid!
Let ol' Jack take his shirt off, it's getting hotter by the minute. OK, a right turn towards another hallway leads to some very crude artwork, but, instead of paintings, this looks to be childish drawn icons or something even more sinister. Now, here is something to get excited about: there is another downward passage, and maybe even the exit for Jack! Can't wait to get back home and have a few glasses of "Rot-Gut Wine" that's chilling in my refrigerator!


There seems to be a bunch of Dungeons at the bottom of the hallway, but.. even worse, there is a series of Sharp Swinging Axes, set into pairs going down the hallway!

Puff! Thats the end of my flashlight, I guess I'll have to wing-it for now. But hey are those swinging axes starting to move down towards me??? Oh Man, what are my chances in the dark of not becoming a pound of Fresh Swiss Cheese?!?



Well, better to have loved than never to have...wait! That's another quote! OK, down I go, and I might be fine if I time the ax swings correctly. Here I am at the bottom, I've made it!!! But, there is a spooky looking butler trying to push a vacation trunk onto me from a balcony above! Crash! He just missed me! I'll deal with him later, right now the only thing I want to deal with is the damn exit!






This must have been the Kid's aunt's Mock Dungeon area for the tourists, but the bars and locks on these doors look very real!!! There is some light coming from around the bend, maybe that is the way out?!? There is someone calling to me from one of the dungeon rooms, but no time to stop and chat! I just want to get out of here for good!

The author wishes to express his thanks to
Leonard Pickel and Allen Kanter
and all the nic
e folks at the Myrtle Beach Pavillion for their kind co-operation


The final headline for Haunted Hotel has sadly been written.
Pavilion Park and Haunted Hotel were demolished in March, 2007.
They are both fondly remembered by countless fans.

©2000 Laff In The Dark/www.laffinthedark.com
Laff In The Dark is not affiliated in any way with the Amusement Parks listed at this site